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This is the longest I’ve been in one place in over four years. It’s a weird feeling. As someone who thrives on change and unpredictability, to have “things” (i.e. belongings) and stay in the same spot is – at this point – completely unfamiliar. In fact, I haven’t spent longer than three months in the same country since late 2016. Weird, huh?

Now, I find myself researching flights and planning adventures that – in all likelihood – won’t come to fruition. I’m dreaming of driving across the Americas in a van and camping under the stars. The idea of stepping off a plane and into a new culture is enough to make me salivate.

Strangely enough, I even long for the chaos: like the time I missed my flight and ended up in a different country, or the day I woke up to a boa constrictor in the bathroom. There’s something strangely addictive about being uncomfortable (which, coincidentally, is probably why I enjoy torturing myself with various forms of exercise).

Just like Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka (although perhaps without the selfish, entitled blueberry-bloating): I want the world, I want the whole world. But, as luck would have it, not enough to jeopardize my health and the health others by trying to maintain my nomadic lifestyle in 2020.

At first, I was really struggling with the sameness of it all. It made me feel claustrophobic.

But now?

I’ve finally mastered the art of staying put.

The Art of Staying Put

There is, I’ve found, some beauty in routine. I find great satisfaction in the depths of a long, hot bath and enjoy the stability of a regular to-do list. I enjoy being a somewhat recognizable part of the community. It’s nice being known.

Although my innate need for newness often comes a-knocking, I’ve found a few easy ways to make this strange, stagnant year feel a little more manageable. If you’re also fighting the incessant urge to run off screaming into the horizon, then try the following:

#1: Nurture Your Hobbies

Are you an amateur baker? Woodworker? Singer? Maybe you like to make tiny hats for animals? GREAT! Now is the time to become a little less amateur. Clear a spot in your schedule and hone your skills.

And no, for the record, drinking is not a hobby.

#2: Rewrite Normalcy

When it comes to the confines of your own home, there are no rules. If you want to leave your Christmas tree up until July, go for it. If you want to move your bed into the living room, who cares? Your sole focus should be to find new, fun ways to make yourself happy – and that might necessitate a little weirdness.

Tip #3: Find Satisfaction in the Present

Perpetual dissatisfaction is part of the human condition. We’re never truly happy with what we have. This is, in part, good – nobody ever accomplished anything remarkable by being content. But living in a constant state of wanting can make us blind to the simple joys in life.

Think small. There’s magic in a steaming cup of coffee on sleepy morning. If you’re fortunate enough to be able to (safely) hug a pet, a friend or a partner, revel in the warmth of connection. Find happiness in a clean kitchen, a string of Christmas lights or a buttery slice of fresh bread. Take pause to consciously find gratitude – it can make all the difference.

For those of you who can’t help but focus on the big picture, let me remind you that you are alive and well. Revel in your health and wellness. No, you can’t hop over to Nepal for a long weekend, but on the bright side – you’re not dead. Yes, you’re going to have to stay in your house and avoid human contact, but on the bright side – YOU’RE NOT DEAD. Every day, people are dying from COVID-19. And if you haven’t died yet, then you have at least one thing to be grateful for.

Tip #4: Eat Chocolate

I eat chocolate every morning as soon as I wake up. It’s awesome and I recommend it.

Tip #5: Stop Bargaining – It’s Time for Acceptance (Someone Tell Trump This, Too.)

If you’re tired of feeling like you’re paddling upstream, it’s time to accept that, for the time being, you need to stay where you are. You aren’t special, and the world doesn’t revolve around you. Harsh? No, not really. It’s true.

It pains me to see how many people are refusing to give up family gatherings, vacations and road trips despite the fact that we’re knee deep in a global pandemic. Believe me, I get it – it sucks not to be able to exercise your incredible privilege (yes, traveling is an INSANE fucking privilege), but listen to me carefully: this isn’t the time to travel.

A vaccine is coming. Master the art of staying put.

Want more Madison? Send her a message to talk shop about marketing, movement, and beyond. 

Lockdown is over, but you’re still miserable. You want to enjoy life, but you can’t.

Despite the fact that you’re finally allowed to leave the house, your deepest desire is to crawl back into your cave, crack open a beer and doomscroll until you pass out on the couch.

Is something wrong with you? Are you broken beyond repair?

Not at all. There are plenty of reasons during life after lockdown to ask yourself, “Why do I still feel like shit?”

Reason #1: COVID Still Exists

Although many morons and conspiracy theorists in the United States would argue otherwise, COVID is still killing people. Quickly and often. Did you know that over 749,000 people have already died? I don’t want to hear that “they’re making up the numbers,” or “they were all sick with something else,” bullshit. Facebook isn’t a news source. People are dying and they’re going to keep dying.

There’s a chance that your parents, your grandma, your neighbor, or your favorite teacher could keel over and die. In fact, there’s a chance that you could croak, too! Granted, there’s always a chance that any of these things could happen – but COVID is forcing you to consider your own mortality and the mortality of the people you love.

We aren’t free from worry. We’re just free to leave the house.

Reason #2: You Can’t Do Whatever You Want

This one has been embarrassingly tough for me. As someone who enjoys booking spontaneous flights and country-hopping, I am struggling. That selfish little asshole in the back of my head keeps whimpering, “I want, I want, I want” – and it’s almost like I want it more because I can’t have it.

What am I, a toddler?

But here’s the truth: it doesn’t matter what you want. You don’t want to wear a mask? Tough shit. You don’t want to practice social distancing? Too fucking bad. Your wants are being sacrificed for the greater good, and you should be okay with that. A little inconvenience isn’t going to kill you – in fact, it might save your life – but a little ignorance sure as hell could.

Reason #3: Humankind is Depressing  

I’ve always believed that people are inherently good. COVID has caused my (perhaps overly optimistic) view of humankind to come crashing to the ground. Science-deniers, racists and religious zealots seem to be everywhere – and, what’s worse – they’re running the show.

Are there still good people doing good things? Yes, absolutely. But they’re not nearly as noisy or in your face as the idiots that seem to pollute your newsfeed (and the White House).

Ok, Now What?

The way I see it, we have one of two options:

• Continue to wallow in misery
• Find gratitude despite the misery (I recommend this option.)

Let’s get real: you’re not helping anyone from the armpit of your couch. Stop giving your energy to slack-jaw racists on Facebook and limit your exposure to the news. Barring any extenuating circumstances – you’ve lost a loved one, you’re homeless, you don’t know where your next meal is coming from etc. – COVID presents a unique opportunity for you to take control of your mindset.

Start small. Did you sleep in a bed last night? Are you loved? Do you have the ability to open your windows and breathe fresh air?

Keep going. Do you have a skill? Did you get an education? Do you have clothes that fit you? In this moment, are you safe?

Focusing on the good stuff doesn’t mean that you’re oblivious to the bad. It means that you’re prioritizing your mental health so you can show up for yourself and the people that need you.

As Mr. Rogers once said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

Be a helper. Find other helpers. Focus on how you can be a source inspiration in your home and your community. And when you’re tired and sad? Well, it’s okay to be tired and sad, too.

Want more Madison? Send her a message to talk shop about marketing, mobility, and life after lockdown. 

First off, I’d like to make a sweeping declaration: women are incredible. They are resourceful, inspiring, bewitching – and if you’re a woman, then you’re probably already aware of how awesome we are. In the past few years I’ve fallen madly in love with women, and it has unequivocally changed my life. I want you to fall in love with women, too.

Now, before we get started, I need to make a few clarifying statements. I am not romantically in love with women (although I’m sure if the right woman came along I could be) – I am in love with their deep, lasting friendship. I truly believe that female camaraderie is an essential part of daily life.

This post is not about male friendships (which I have many of), so don’t hit me with that “BUT WHAT ABOUT MEN? MEN CAN BE GREAT FRIENDS TOO!” diatribe. Yes, of course male friendships are awesome. But that’s not what this is about.

I’m not someone who is particularly… social. I love doing things alone (and often prefer it), but that doesn’t mean that I can’t recognize the role that female friendship plays in my life. When your heart is shattered because the bottom dropped out of your relationship or you have yet another hysterical pregnancy scare, sisterhood is everything.

Step 1: Admit You Have a Problem

When I was growing up, I wasn’t the biggest fan of women. Sure, I had female friends, but there was always this strange, underlying hyper-competitive edge. I judged what other women wore and how they looked. Believe it or not, I even made the painfully embarrassing claim that I “just get along better with men.” All in all, it’s likely that my inability let women into my heart revolved around my own insecurities and the fear that I would never be “good enough.”

In short: it had nothing to do with women, and everything to do with me.

I would, however, like to argue that my aversion to female attachment wasn’t entirely my fault. Film, television, magazines and even novels have normalized this idea that women can’t be friends – or at least they can’t be friends with someone outside of their “clique.” Women are portrayed as catty, cruel and sometimes just plain MEAN. These mediums, just like adolescent me, have it wrong. So what’s the point of this rambling essay? The point, my friends, is that if you don’t embrace, foster and nurture your female friendships, you’re missing out on one of the most beautiful parts of life. In a time when it is increasingly important that people of all gender identities unify and support one another, there is no excuse to be trashing other women or – at best – keeping them at an arm’s length.

Step 2: Make a Change

If this concept is new to you, NO SHAME. Again, we’ve been given a skewed template of female friendship. For the sake of your future happiness (and the happiness of everyone on the planet) I’ve compiled a list of easy instructions that will help you build lasting, meaningful female relationships.

If you want to fall in love with women, please don’t:

• Hate on another woman’s outfit. This wasn’t excusable in high school, and it definitely isn’t now. If you have a problem with what another woman is wearing, I suggest you take a very long, hard look at what that says about you.
• Sleep with another woman’s partner. I’ve done this. I was young, dumb and woefully insecure. I will also never do this again – and here’s why: I would be absolutely crushed if another woman did this to me. Remember that she isn’t faceless or nameless. She is just like you.
• Tell another woman that she “can’t.” Maybe she wants to open her own business. Maybe she wants to get her master’s degree. Maybe she wants to build a greenhouse and learn hydroponics. Cool! Whatever it is, tell her she’s unstoppable – not that she should stop.
• Gossip. You’re better than this.
• Call another woman slutty. As the great Christina Aguilera once said: “The guy gets all the glory, the more he can score, while the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore.” It’s NONE OF YA DAMN BUSINESS.
• Be afraid. Women are warm, beautiful, open-hearted creatures. Approach them with kindness and watch your world transform.

Now go make it happen. Fall in love with women.

Want more Madison? Send her a message to talk shop about marketing, mobility, and – duh – to be her friend! 

P.s. This one is dedicated to all of the incredible women in my life. You inspire me daily and I love you endlessly. Send me your favorite photos and I’ll add them to this super girly slide. 

It’s 2020. You’ve decided that you’re sick of feeling like shit and you want to start exercising. That’s amazing! Whether you’ve decided to lose weight, build muscle or simply live a healthier lifestyle, it can be difficult to navigate the fitness world if you’ve been embracing your inner couch potato for a little too long. Are you scared? That’s fine. Starting a fitness routine can be incredibly intimidating. Not sure where to start? That’s fine too.

In a world filled with useless fitness information, I am here to provide you with the truth about getting fit in the New Year. No bullshit. Real tools that you can actually use to achieve your goals. Am I a fitness guru? No. Nutritionist? Absolutely not. Am I selling you something? Nope. But I can tell you one thing: I’ve spent years using exercise as a tool to make me happy – and I want you to be able to do that too.

I just want everyone to be happy.

Truth #1: There Is No Magic Pill

You’ve heard it before and I’ll say it again: here is no magic pill. There is no “secret” to getting fit in the New Year and losing weight. These are the rules of the game:

1. Exercise Regularly
2. Eat Healthy

That’s it. Easier said than done, right? If anything looks, tastes or smells like MLM, then it is – and it’s designed to rip you off without providing you with any results. Tiny tea (laxatives), belly wraps (water weight) or diet pills (probably arsenic) do not work – so don’t waste your money looking for the easy way out. There isn’t one.

Truth #2: “Fitness” Can Be Different for Everyone

I’ve tried at least 50 different fitness routines. Yoga, pilates, kayaking, hiking, crossfit, cycling, rock climbing, swimming, dancing, lifting weights, running, snowboarding, kickball, chopping wood… do you catch my drift? Fitness doesn’t mean that you have spend two hours on the elliptical. You can – and will – find a form (or forms) of exercise that you actually enjoy. You just have to keep searching until you do.

Truth #3: You Don’t Get to Stop Working Out

It always blows my mind when people reach their fitness goals and then they just… stop. It’s lunacy. If you want to be healthy and live to watch your great grandchildren have children, then you don’t get to stop working out. Ever. Now hold up – I’m not saying that you have to be a fitness freak for the rest of your life, but you do need to prioritize moving your body a few times a week. You can take a break for injury, for self-care, for… whatever you feel like, but you should always return to some sort of a fitness routine.

Imagine this: you’ve spent the last two years learning how to speak Spanish. You’ve worked so, so hard figuring out how to conjugate verbs, ask where the bathroom is, and order a beer. At last, the day that you’ve been waiting for arrives: you’re fluent in Spanish! All your hard work has FINALLY paid off!

And then you never speak Spanish. Ever again.

That’s what it’s like when you bail on your fitness routine.

Truth #4: Nobody Is Judging You

You know those super fit people that look like they fell out of the womb doing crunches? They were beginners once, too. Everyone knows what it feels like to walk into your first class, get your first membership or try your first (horrific) round of burpees. We have all been where you are and we’re cheering you on. Laugh at your mistakes and remember that fitness should be fun – sometimes even silly – so don’t take it so damn seriously.

Truth #5: You Deserve to Be Happy

When I was 22, I had a therapist give me a prescription for exercise. She said, “Madison, I want you to exercise for 45 minutes, 3 days a week. I don’t care what you do.” At the time I was incredibly annoyed – “So, you’re not going to refill my Xanax?” – but after a month… I felt better. Healthier. Happier. Stronger. It was like someone made winter a little less wintery. I was eating my vegetables and drinking less booze. I didn’t understand it at the time, but the best side effect of a regular workout routine isn’t an improved appearance – it’s an improved state of mind.

Want more Madison? Send her a message to talk shop about marketing, mobility, getting fit in the New Year and beyond. 

Fighting for the Future with Depression & Anxiety

I was scrolling through my files yesterday when I stumbled upon this paragraph in a Word document from 2013. It appears to be a note that I wrote to myself during finals week while I was studying for the LSAT and living in Minneapolis.

It’s sort of amusing at first, but when you get down to the bottom of the note… less so. I’ve always struggled with anxiety and I’ve had a few really bad bouts of depression – this appears to be my attempt to cope with one of them.

When Your Best Isn’t Enough

Me with a black eye in 2013.

Although I don’t specifically remember writing the note, I remember this time in my life pretty vividly. I loved the classes I was enrolled in at the University of Minnesota. I was inspired by my professors. I wanted to score well on the LSAT. And yet, I couldn’t seem to bring myself to actually accomplish anything. Studying seemed impossible. Just getting to class was a daily battle that I often lost. I was lonely, trying to date and struggling, because you know what they say… “You can’t love someone unless you love yourself first.”

Above this note, there was also a schedule that I had created for myself. On three of the days I had typed “GO TO YOGA,” and underlined it. I was doing my best to utilize my coping mechanisms. I was also on a cocktail of antidepressants.

Let me tell you, guys – finding this really tore me up. Six years after writing this sad, frenzied paragraph to myself I am almost an unrecognizable person. I have always looked back on this period of my life with shame and frustration. My behavior was embarrassing. I drank too much and I made a lot of mistakes. I didn’t live up to my own expectations.

Now, I read this and I feel SO PROUD.

I drug around my anxiety and depression for years. It was horrible. I thought I would never be happy and it felt like I would never be good enough. It is nothing short of a miracle that I graduated – let alone with a 3.7 – and still managed to hold down a part-time job as a waitress. That girl was a fucking superhero.

I remember joking with my mom after graduation and saying, “Man, imagine what I could do if my brain actually worked!” In a way, I’m grateful that it didn’t. Now, at 29, after years of self-study, yoga and unending effort to keep the chaos at bay, I am stronger than I ever could have imagined. I’ve built a life (and lifestyle) that wasn’t even fathomable in my early 20’s. My anxiety still loves to play tricks on me, but it has minor role in my day-to-day life.

What do you think is more difficult? Moving to a new country, alone, with nothing but a backpack, or a week of crippling depression? I’m sure you can guess. Compared to what I’ve dealt with previously anything I’m facing now is child’s play.

You Are Your Own Superhero

This note is an incredible reminder to look back on the past and honor your growth. Take a break from dwelling on the future and recognize how far you’ve come. Seriously. I mean it. Really look.

Maybe you’re in a dark place right now. Whatever you’re grappling with, be it mental or physical illness, a toxic relationship, the loss of a loved one or something different – remember that in this moment you are your own superhero. You are fighting to keep your head above water so that your future can flourish.

It gets better. I promise.

Want to talk? I’m here. Just send me a message.